Attaining Perfection

Composing, like any art, can be the cause of much self-inflicted harm. What I mean is that, although there are various rules for composing music, they're not rules as such. They're more like optional guidelines for successful composition, tested only by time, but there is nothing to say that one cannot write exactly as they wish. This lack of objective necessities about music means that any qualitative bench mark is set only by the individual composer. The standards I set for myself are far too high, since I want near-enough perfection for my work. Here's where the self-inflicted harm comes in, because I cannot compose perfect music. Indeed, I think that nobody can compose perfect music, subjectively or objectively. That doesn't stop me from beating myself up about it though.
When I was at secondary school, I took art until the age of fifteen and pretty much every piece of work I handed in was at least a week late. Needless to say, I received a couple of detentions for this reason, but I maintain that this was slightly harsh. Perhaps you could put it down to artistic temperament, but I could not see the point of working hard for weeks on a piece of art, only to rush it at the last minute, purely to meet a deadline. I felt that this was a complete waste of time. I wanted my pieces of work to be right, to my mind at least, therefore it always took me a little longer. My standards were not perfection back then. Merely liking my work was good enough for me, but I never was satisfied with the results.
So here, at Goldsmiths, things haven't changed much, except that now I want to acheive the impossible. Perfection. I can't say it hasn't been a struggle. The amount of work that I have put in the bin would cause a look of derision from my tutors, I am sure. If I ever become pleased at a grade I've acheived here, it isn't because I think I've created a great piece of work, it's because I know I didn't deserve it, because it was the biggest piece of trite, banal horse faeces ever to grace the planet. Not that I want unfair grades, that isn't it. What makes me happy about getting half-decent grades for what I consider shit work, is that I must have higher standards than my tutors. This shouldn't come as too much of a surprise to me though, since what I want is perfection.
I think I am wrong to have this attitude, because it can't be healthy to feel dissapointed at all my own work, it must bring me down a little. It isn't arrogance, either. I don't feel I must be able to attain perfection, because "hey, I'm Iain Farnsworth, the genius composer, I can do anything better than anyone!", it's more about what I want to acheive and that must mean my priorities are out of whack somewhat.
I have to smile at the example of Carl Orff, who burnt all his works other than 'Carmina Burana' because he thought they were terrible. Why he didn't burn Carmina Burana as well defeats me.