It's not the taking part, it's the winning that counts

That might sound really unsporting, but it's true. Of course, it all depends on what game you're playing and that's where things aren't always as they seem. You might think that opponents are playing the same game, but to quote Gershwin, "it ain't necessarily so." I remember playing rugby for my school in my teens, where almost every game was a guaranteed defeat. Apart from a few motivated (but ultimately deluded) team members who believed we could win the match, our game was to make it back to the changing room with some dignity and all our teeth. We at least all kept our teeth.


"I'm Still Alive!!!"

Complete drubbings were regular and too many games ended with our heads dropping and hence, painful full-time scores. We were actually double losers, since we could neither win the game, nor our own game. I am grateful for those rugby years, because it helped me to take defeat on the chin (Something needed for being a Liverpool fan in the mid to late 90's). However, I can't deny that although I rarely got upset at losing a rugby match, I regularly got upset because I didn't play as well I should have. Losing my own battle really hurt, it counted.
Of course this goes further than rugby. I am what you might call a 'perfectionist' and that's tough, because it means I am always disappointed with myself. The standards set by myself for myself are unattainable. I always take part but never win. Let me give you an example. I recently went through a bit of a dilemma over musical material and it's composition (I'm a composer, don't you know?) which ended with the conclusion that I need to fully understand all my musical materials (that's EVERYTHING that comes together to form music) and how they relate to each other, in order to write at least half effectively. I will never attain that kind of knowledge and if that is my game-plan, it is already lost. I could spend my life trying to win that game, but I've decided that I'm not going to, because it's stupid and pointless and I don't want to lose a stupid and pointless game. Especially when I know that a comprehensive knowledge of musical material won't necessarily mean an objectively compelling musical composition. I may be young and naïve, but I know that in a world where the 1812 overture is considered a masterpiece and 'The Teletubbies' theme tune can make it to no.1 in the charts, valiant efforts may stand for nothing.
So what, then? Change the game-plan? Well, yes, I guess. But more specifically, I think I need to work out whether or not a 'game' is even worth starting. This calls for brutal honesty and careful introspection. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at either, so I have quite a bit of losing to go, no doubt. What is my 'game-plan' in terms of musical composition? I don't know just yet, but as soon as I know, I'll be sure to let you know. What I do know, however, that following Jesus is certainly worth it, because the most important battle has already been won by Him on the cross. Not all of my personal struggles have been won, but I know that following Jesus through all manner of struggles is worth it because of the assurance of eternal life with Him for those who trust and follow Him. I think I need reminding of that fact fairly frequently. It really IS worth it!
Oh, and if Liverpool lose against Juventus tonight, it will hurt!!