Going Home

So I guess that's that for me and London. Maybe. I left New Cross on Friday. Well, actually, by the time we actually departed, it was Saturday morning, but you catch my drift. Being home is somewhat peculiar because I haven't yet left my 'London' mentality, it feels like I'm still there. There are, I think, two reasons for this. One, I am still here, kind of. This week, I am in London every day except Tuesday, despite the fact that I no longer have a home here, but instead I am sleeping on Gwilym's floor. Two, I don't think even when I return home again for good on Saturday, I will be entirely settled at home. I guess things take time, but I've left things unfinished here. Like my degree, which I am all set to fail this year, to re-submit next year, which, if I'm being honest, is a quite shattering and entirely disappointing. Oh, sod it, actually I'm devastated. That isn't very easy for me to say, I'm trying to avoid being negative about it and there are some positives, but in as much as I have failed to pass this year, I have also failed to get where I thought I would. I think I've come quite a way as a composer, but still I cannot compose as I would wish and I can't put the battle down for a while, but I need to carry on until I re-submit next year. That might leave my head in London for a while. This, however, is speculation. I don't know what is going to happen in my life in the next year. This isn't at all a bad position to be in, because it leaves me with no other option than to trust God, who has my life in His hands. When things do not go according to our plans, it can be too easy to fight against what has happened and try to force our own scheme on our lives, to try to 'sort things out'. God surely has better plans than I could dream up, so it is much wiser for me to seek His plans for me and to follow Him. I know He is trustworthy and will not lead me astray. The trick is remembering God, which I can be a little lax in doing, so if any Christians out there want to pray that I will remember Him, that would be great. I will be doing the same.
I dare say I shall miss London. Maybe not right now, as I am ready to be home for the moment. London is far from perfect and a difficult place in which to live, but it has been my home for a year and has impacted my life to some extent. I have made some good friends with whom I wish never to lose contact and that, at the very least, will keep me coming back to London to visit.

Goodbye, you charming scoundrel...